Monday, March 30, 2015

Overwhelming gratitude

I have not written in a while. Actually when I looked it has been Almost 4 months since I even looked at this blog. So much has happened but as most of it has been in my head, not much has been worth reporting.

I am bubbling over today though, I need to put it somewhere and since this is my tiny patch of internet real estate, seemed logical.

I am bubbling over with gratitude about my life. I really have won the life lottery in a lot of ways. I have a job I can stand most days and I have "that" relationship. The one that people roll their eyes at you cause you dont ever throw your hat in the the " bitch about my spouse " Ring. Not that any human is perfect but the good far outweighs anything else.

I am in decent health, better than it has been in a long time and my head is quieter than it has been for a while. I have days when my anxious nature gets the best of me. I just ride them out now, sit on my hands and wait for it to pass as I know now it does.

When I started to write this I was so lost, I wrote it all down because that was the only thing I really knew to do in order to think clearly. Now I am feeling the need to write because I NEED to write. It still helps me think but it is more of a creative flow. I had no idea who I was staring at in the mirror, some wretch who had no clue what she wanted out of life.

I still dont know what I want to be when I grow up, I probably never will. I have no idea if my life will look the same in 5 years, 10 years, If I will be with the same person or if I will have the same job. The difference in my soul is that now I dont care. I want to see that all come to pass, ( maybe not the job part ) but something that I love but I am at peace with not knowing if it will be.

I just wanted to state to the 4 people that may ever read this blog that things are good. I am very happy in my life. A whole person who is finding out all the things that she forgot about. The things I love to do and believing now that maybe I can actually do them better than average. Feel pretty powerful and blessed for lack of a better word.

Not much to report, just saying thanks to the powers that be, life is good.

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