Just call me Ahab.
Well, just to give a little back story I live in a beautiful place that is surrounded by ocean water. I know we have resident and transient whales around most of the year, and in 33.5 years I have never seen a whale.
It had become something of a joke between D and I as he began to call me Ahab, always sitting at the water while waiting for him to finish work, always looking. It did become something of a "Moby Dick" story except my story was not bent on revenge. At first it was a random curiosity, I find the creatures to be serene and beautiful ( yes yes predatory as well, i know.)
As time went on though, it became a symbol to me and it happened almost without my knowledge. I had a random thought one day that if I saw my whale, my "moby" then the impossible was possible, that I really had created the reality for myself that I wanted and found my path.
OK, so that sounds hokey but there is really no other way to put it. The whale to be had become my reassurance from the universe that through all my upheaval and the ugly parts of the last 10 years, I was on a path to serenity.
So, as you sorted out by now , I saw my whale. The best part was, it appeared just as real symbols do in life. There was no giant display, no beautiful breach against sunset whilst holding hands with my sweetie. No silent surfacing in the dark while I pondered the universe.
It was sudden, short and I had to ask myself 3 times if I had seen it really, I was texting D sitting in a parking lot people and water watching when out of the corner of my eye I saw a spray of water and looked up in time to see the tip of a fin submerging back into the water.
That was it. Quick unobtrusive and if I blinked I could have missed it.
Made me think, that is just the case with all the important parts of life, life is made of moments. It is the moments that matter not the grand plan. Real moments , the ones that matter cannot be planned, you cannot prepare for them and they never happen as they do in stories.
I think if you spend your life trying to plan ahead, you will forget to observe the moments. The things that happen on some idle Tuesday.
Some of the very best moments I have had , have been so random. Singing my heart out to old rock sitting on a couch after a few drinks.
Sitting quietly and realizing that you are having an entire conversation with someone with no words spoken.
impromptu picnics and surprise plums......
Being told you are awesome at 2 am by your 10 year old because you let her watch TV in the middle of the night when she woke up.
A rainbow on the day of a funeral,
a lady bug on your shoulder,
That first second you realize.. " oh my god, this IS something, not just lunch"
And the best moments every come when you are alone.
Could be nothing more than reading a good book or learning a new thing that gives you that "ah hah". I am rambling and I digress, I think you get the point.
Life happens in moments as my "Moby" drew into sharp focus yesterday. You will never see them coming. You can plan , hope, wait, scheme, over think, cry , laugh , fantasize but at the end of the day, one of the most true things I have ever heard was
" You have no idea that the best day of you life will happen until you are already in it"
Take advantage of moments when they happen. Write them down, remember them somehow because they will be the things that keep you going in awful times. And always say everything you mean to say and nothing you don't!
My words of wisdom for the day.