I believe I have found the ultimately peaceful place in my life.
Things that haunted me behind my eyes are now dim, things that tortured me while I slept lay peaceful in the shadows.
I have found a voice to use while breathing in a steady rhythm. A place where I can stay quiet. Where I do not need to ask questions, I do not need to speak. A place where I could cry without having to be angry.
This is what content feels and looks like.
This does not mean that I do not have trials still, or that Life is going to be nothing but easy, but I can talk about it now. I have a place other than my tiny corner of the INTERNET where I can show the darker, timid parts of me and know they will be safe.
This is a little poetic, I think the rain has a bit to do with that today. I noticed that for once the rain did not make me sad, or look around at all the things I was missing. I woke in the rain, safe, warm and happy.
I am looking forward today and tonight to visiting with my sister, snuggling in my bed and listening to the rain on the roof. I am looking forward to being in my head and unafraid of what lives there. I have never been so happy to hear someone tell me I was "pretty normal". Many times over I have been told by closed minds. " you are a little weird", " you worry too much" ' " you are neurotic why cant you just stop over thinking", "you are too serious".
So, although I don't really believe in "normal". To be just simply accepted, to know that "I am" is just simply OK and enough.
Not just to hear that but toKNOW it. Well, that is a peace and a silence in my head that I am grateful for on a level I can not even put it into words.
So Happy Monday! What a great weekend.