Monday, March 4, 2013

Who's life is this anyway?

Have you ever had those days you woke up and looked around your life to find everything is wrong and you have no idea how you got there? I don't have those days anymore. I still have about 8.00 in my bank account today if you are lucky, I still live in a house that may just fall down if you sneeze too hard, I still have my friend " the belly" which has grown slightly due to being on an evening food binge. I am still me, perfectly imperfect, but today I woke up and looked around my life to find that everything was right. I am really full of ambition today, it might be difficult to sit in an office when my brain is on fire. Creative fire!!! I want to knit , I want to take pictures! I want to curl up with my amazing boyfriend and thank him for existing a few hundred times. I hardly recognize my life. I am happy .. not just the butterflies in my belly happy, but a genuine feeling of bliss that I am not afraid is going to fall apart for once. I believe I understand what made the difference though, Even if it was all stripped away and tomorrow I found myself jobless, single, homless and sick, I would still have me. I have found the person that resides under my skin again. I am never letting that go. So I know that part of my day today is going to have to consist of planning a few projects. I did not make a new years resolution this year I just knew that it had to be different. I am going to make a " spring" resolution instead, I think it stands a better chance of sticking that way. So , Spring resolution is to finish projects. What ever projects I begin this " year" I am going to complete. The first on my agenda is to sort out a list of projects that are feasible in the course of the next year. I know that I want to get more serious about my photography. I know that I want to learn how to knit more complicated things. It feels a bit like a sham to claim I am an avid knitter when I can only make very simple things. More to come on that.. I think I am going to try and be more diligent with the blog too.. but we shall see on that one.

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