Tuesday, March 26, 2013

My Happiness Project day 12,13,14.

Hahaha oops, guess I missed a few days posting.  Regardless, I have remained consistent in my saving of the money each day. I have 70.00 in the "no take out account" and today I am beginning the next part of my Happiness Project.. Body.
 I may not have been quite so motivated but I saw a photo of myself this weekend and almost dropped dead on the spot.
 The person I saw did not nearly match who I see in my head when I think of me. There was a time not long ago that I was so thrilled with how strong I was becoming. I had come farther in my physical fitness and my resolve to be healthy than I ever had in my life. Somewhere around May I lost that, I stopped going to the gym, stopped caring quite so much about being in great shape. I think I figured I could coast for a bit because I had come so far.
 For me, it was not about physical image, I felt good, I felt like I was accomplishing a goal, and I lost 30 lbs.
 Truth telling time: I have managed to gain back almost 10lbs of that.

I don't actually feel bad about myself though, I like me, but I am having some health issues that cannot be harmed by continuing the path to get healthy and get down to a decent size. It was a 20lb goal, now its a 26 lb goal, but I can do that. I HAVE to do it because I came too far to fail now.

2 weeks to get in the groove before I start the next piece of the project.

So tonight its back to the "Vertical Gym" where my lovely Robynne can beat the crap out of me and I will willingly let her do it. I wont be able to move tomorrow and I will likely sleep like the dead tonight. So what did I do? of course I signed up for a class tomorrow and Thursday as well, Oh my god, I am going to be so sore.

I refused to give up entirely on the foods that I love ( all of them ) I am already so limited on what I can and can not eat. No wheat, dairy does not love me, and with the allergies I have been having I am doing my best to avoid most processed foods and sugar. I will NOT give up my wine, I draw the line there. Thank god for FREEDAY. 

Great day yesterday, went on a photo adventure with D, going to have a look tonight and see what I got for pictures. I love that part, its like Christmas.

As an aside, as I am searching out more happiness in my life I have to take pause to be grateful for what I do have.  If someone had told me a year ago , " don't worry because in 12 little months you are going to feel great about yourself, you are going to have the job you wanted and you are going to have someone in your life that you are truly happy with" I would have laughed in their face. That seemed like an impossible dream at that point, to just be content with so many things in life. So , I am grateful for that today. I also have myself to thank because I was strong enough and brave enough to go find it, and refuse to settle. So, I guess I am grateful for my strength of self too.

Slowly slowly my walls are coming down, my silly fears are subsiding and I am finding a peace in my life that I have looked for. NOW, fabulous me needs to find the fabulous reflection to look back at her through the looking glass...

I am going to hurt tomorrow. ..

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