OK, so my giant plan in life here was to dye my hair blond, be fabulous, date lots and lots of men while being blond and fabulous and generally have the time of my life.
I seem to find myself existing on Almonds when I am starving and only finding the need to push food around on my plate rather than eat it.
I like him.
I'm not supposed to like him, I don't know him well enough to like him but sure enough.. I am intrigued. Intrigued enough to have worn my phone battery down to the point of charging it between texts at 2 am just to get the rest of the conversation in .
(Ah, electronic chatting.. at least no one can see the stupid thing you say and then change your mind about saying.)
Intrigued enough to have gotten past my terrified self and went for a lunch " non-date". I insisted it was a non date because I am just not ready to admit to myself that of course it was a date.
I walked into the " non-date" on my lunch hour totally prepared to find flaw, pick the guy apart in my head and generally end up with a friend. A nice safe friend who I could not have to be concerned with pesky things like attraction.
So then this person walks in and I find myself less interested in the salad I was soo looking forward too and more interested in the person in front of me.
Nothing like what my mind had created for me when I thought of my suitor. It was after all just lunch.
Today is just lunch again.
I refuse to admit out loud that I seem to have small winged invaders in my stomach or that maybe just maybe there is a nice guy left?
Despite all of that though, there is the one little fact that my judgement has been sadly lacking in the past. Thats why we have revoked my relationship licence. Thats why I am 33 and blogging about single life and not my domestic bliss. I do not want to continue the pattern of " NEXT" . So, i am forcing myself no matter what my stupid brain tries to tell me, this is LUNCH nothing more. Just Lunch.