Wednesday, October 17, 2012

I AM .

So yesterday I did something totally insane. In the midst of my debt and my two jobs and all the rest of the " fun " that is my life I was somehow pre approved for a new credit card. Warning signals flashed all over my wallet as I contemplated my new acquisition. " DON'T" the logical voice inside my head said.. " DO! " say that little voice that was trying to remind me the sky was always falling. Well it was a large voice, and a large opinion in the form of a good friend who I was married to once upon a time. But, He was right. ( He would likely faint dead away to hear me speak that out loud so I say it here instead ) See, the thing is, I have always loved photography. I have spent hours " seeing" the world through the imaginary lens that is a photographers best friend. It is like seeing with a third eye, all the still things that we walk by in life. I have had countless " point and shoot" dinky cameras. I have taken thousands of photos that I have thought would have been amazing if I just had the camera I wanted. I think you can see where this is going. Yeah, I bought the camera. I could not afford it, it was probably not wise, but it was a pursuit of happiness. I did not do it to make money, to further my station in life, to please one other living soul on this planet. It was selfish, wanten , impulsive , rash, crazy , stupid, and insane! oh, and at 19% until its paid off. I don't care. I spent an hour last night staring through the view finder, taking photos of the cats with the continuous shot, revelling at the flurry of " click click click click " as the shudder went off. For so many people in this world a camera is just a thing, part of the electronic arsenal we all have in our homes these days. For me, its the third eye, the sight. More than that though, it was symbolic. It says simply " I AM ". I made the choice, I consulted no one, I cared nothing for what people thought, I cared nothing for the cost. It is just simply something I wanted for so long. So, with my camera I say " I am " and today the end of that sentence is , Happy. Oh, FYI, down to 162.4 today , and this morning I woke up thankful and through the flurry of my morning life, stayed that way .

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