Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Honesty.

So , every day this last week has been the same. I wake with a well thought out plan to spend my day low carb eating, being positive , and taking the world by the horns. I spend 30 minutes before I get out of bed relishing in the joy felt by warm kitties beside me and the smell of the wind from my open window above. I decide every day it will be the best day of my life. Then .... BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEP. The arlam, the blaring unerving yowl of a siamese disturbed from sleep, the argry slap and smack at the offensive noise making electronic device and finally after performing this ritual three or four times.. a mad panic to make it out the door barely on time. I wade through too many dogs, yowling cats, sleepwalking kids who I fight for the bathroom and my mom who thinks its a good time to chat about how her morning has gone so far. By the time I hit my car to begin my 45 minute commute to work I am frazzed, yearning for coffee , and so far from the concept of the blissful impression of my day that I held the hour before it is staggering. In all this, I aslo forgot to eat. I will not bore you with further detail but I have found myself ending my day in a thud, staring a cell phone that did not light up and kicking myself for the snackfood I ate , promising that tomorrow will be a better day . I was told yesterday that the sky was always going to fall, and it was my job in life to find my happiness and stop trying to keep the sky from falling. This acutally made alot of sense to me. So from today , I am going to work on holding that feeling forward. More later on that.. I have to sort out what happy looks like for me.. and frankly I have no idea!

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