Tuesday, November 1, 2011

caution roadwork ahead...

I am stepping cautiously back into the world of weightloss today. I feel pretty flat.. emotionally drained and like I have been hit by a caloricly rich mac truck all at once.
Things are scary in my marriage, I think the scariest part is my own uncertainty about being in it. I said before that my husband is just doing what comes naturally to him, even if the temper and the anger stops ( which he out of the blue said it had yesterday ) , I still am uncertain about wether or not the person he is fits with the person I am . The deep down truth is that most days I am pretty sure it doesnt. I dont really think its a matter of too much fighting or too much time alone. I think it is a case of fundementaly different people who found themselves together way to fast.
Sounds like a cop out but does not feel like one.
I have 6 months left on a one year promise.. I just dont see how I am going to feel any different.
I understand I had said this was a story on weightloss, but I am coming to realize that will only happen as I get my feet on the ground and get ahold of all the other little things in my life.
so.. today is the first day of the rest of my life. and a pagan new year.. Happy New Year and blessed be for this is the season of frozen cleanse and change.

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